Do what where we are planted?!?

  The whole point of this blog is to give others some insight, and honesty into our journey.  We even have our website named haddenjourney.com (shameless plug) because we are very much on this journey of adventure, self realization, growth in every.single.area, humility, selflessness when you are a selfish being, and it is uncomfortable.  The definition of "journey" is to travel from one place to another.  That has defined us for the past few years.  Traveling, growing, from one place to the other.

This morning has been quite the morning.  A sweet (unsweet) little teether, a whinny (almost) 5 year old little girl, and my oldest who only wants to talk about being in a "real" school with a "real" teacher (homeschooling fail 101).  I don't always love homeschooling, and I struggle with feeling equipped to teach.  It's not natural for me.   Maybe your reading this thinking "this is the greatest thing we have ever done!", I'm just not there yet.  I know we will get to that point, but right now it's not always fun or easy.  Even worse when all your sweet boy wants to do is be somewhere else.  And the honestly comes out, when you want them in another school some days too!!  I don't feel that way all the time, and I know he will get the best education at home, but you homeschool moms...Don't lie and say you love it all the time! haha! It's a huge task, with a lot of pressure.  Maybe I'm just doing it wrong! haha! Maybe it is all flowers and butterflies, and perfect crafts, and perfectly done papers, happy children, and joyful moms. But I'm sure we all have those days.  The other day I posted a quote about being content.  About it being more about us, than our situation or circumstance that make our contentment.  Disclaimer: This is not a pity post, it's a real post that I believe so many of us deal with.  There are people, friends, and family even who don't see us as "being on the mission field".  They view us as just living in the prairie land in America.  Oh yes, prairie it is.  And in America, yes!  But oh so much more.  We still have left our home, easier for Matt than myself.  Only because this is what He has always done, and He is awesome at it!  And he is a man, it's just plain easier. Haha!  We have left the comforts of somethings and gained the comforts of others.  We have grown dependent on the Lord, and our little family. We do love it here, promise.  But let's get real.  The "bloom where you are planted" thing isn't always easy.  There is a moment where God does a work in your heart to throw out any negative, gross thing and replaces it with peace, understanding, and CONTENTMENT.  I appreciate when people thank us, or make comments like "your so brave", or "your so inspirational".  It is encouraging, even if we don't think that of ourselves. But seriously, I have days let me tell you when I am kicking and screaming.  Don't you?  In any arena that we are in, there are days we want something else, something more. What I want to say is, "I'm really not that brave...".  So let me tell you what I've learned.  Even in the last few weeks.

God is our contentment.  

He is our bravery.  

He is our inspiration.  

He is our refuge.  

Our Peace.  

Our straight jacket if we need it, holding us together when we are kicking, screaming, and on our way to the crazy house.  

HE IS!  

He is bigger than our desires.  

He knows them well. 

 And He knows that even though we can't always see it, He has us right where we truly want to be.  I love God's people.  I love the Native Culture and the beauty that surrounds me every day.  But I'm no different than you.  You mom's who feel your "job" isn't worthy all the time, you ministers who don't always want to minister, you women who feel you don't have anything truly for yourselves.  I've been there.  So where do you go from here?  You trust Jesus.  Period.  You trust in His promises that He has FULLY equipped you to do all the things He has called you to.  In my discouraged moments of feeling like I'm not doing enough, or whatever, and I talk to Matt he always asks me, "Ok, where do you want to be? What do you want to be doing?"  And my answer is always, "Here, doing what I'm doing!"  Because that is truly my heart.  My heart, and desire is to be here, ministering, sharing Jesus, and loving His people.  And I'm thankful that God knows my heart, more than I even do.

I'll be honest, while writing this my fear was that the people who think I'm "strong" all the time read this and see that I'm "weak".  Seriously Amanda! That is such a dumb thought.  I mean for real... Who is strong apart from Jesus?  None of us.  If nothing else is seen in this post, I hope you see that I am weak apart from Jesus.  I need Him.  I trust Him, and in some small way, each day He is teaching me.  Refining me.  I know there are ladies, moms, and wives who have been in this place.  So I want to encourage you...He is our contentment.  When we aren't content in where God has us, it is usually a heart issue.  So dig deep ladies, because you are doing the most important job in your home, and I hope that you find contentment in Jesus.

Learning to "Bloom",

Amanda

Grace - Based Parenting

Over the last several months I have joined the Audible community.  The last thing I am disciplined in is reading.  So I joined the wonderful world of audible reading!  I can be driving, cleaning, taking a shower and be diving into a good book.  It narrates the book to me, and I love getting to do other things while still "reading". Talk about multi tasking!!  If you haven't downloaded the app, check Audible out with a free trial.

Teaching my kids the importance of reading has kicked my tail, and I am striving to "lead by example".  To help me get more motivated to read/listen, I'll be doing a monthly giveaway of the book that I read for that month.  If I just feel really accomplished I may even tackle a few books a month, but whenever I finish a book that I feel is worth sharing, I will do a give away.

We are in the thick of parenting.  I mean the nitty-gritty, hand's dirty, worn out, time of parenting.  LOTS of character building, educating, loving, leading, mentoring, and we are learning as parents at every stage.  One thing Matt and I have discussed as of late, it how do we discipline with Grace.  How do we show that there are consequences, yet show them the perfect picture of the Gospel?   God teaches us grace at our weakest, most ugly moments.  He forgives without question, and it draws us closer to him.  We want to draw our children to us, not push them away.   We want to draw them to Jesus, not make them feel they can never live up to certain standards.  So where is the balance?  Because I am not OK with saying "Oh that's fine, try again next time." All the time.  They need to know there are consequences for bad decisions, and for sin.  God knew we couldn't be good parents on our own.  And sometimes I have to remind myself that I was never meant to.  Seriously, I am a very flawed human being.  And to be 'allowed" to parent is a gift in and of itself.  I want to take every opportunity to grow, especially in our parenting.  It is the most important job we have.

I have read a few fiction books, but mostly enjoy reading books that will encourage me in my reality, not take me out of reality in a made up novel.  Not in anyway knocking fiction, I just have to have a really good book to keep me intrigued.   The thing in "self-developement" books is that it allows you to evaluate where you are.  Leaves you with an opportunity to grow.   I need that push, so I like reading things that renew my mind, leave me feeling encouraged, or challenge me in my faith.  That's not to say there won't be some fiction reviews, and if you know a good one let me know!

Grace - Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel gives you practical ways to teach and show grace.  It points out parenting styles and the ways that it can harm your children spiritually, and emotionally.  The good and the bad.  In this generation, we want our children to love others without judgement, and to show grace to others, but to also know biblical values and standards.  I desire for my children to run to Jesus when they fail, not run from Him. That's grace!  How will they know if we don't teach them?  Grace should be our anthem.  If you find yourself in the same stage of life we are in, read this book.  Read it, talk it out, pray about how God would have you implement this in your home, and be encouraged! We have the best teacher, and we need to seek Him in every area.  Be sure to check out Family Matters website for more great resources.

With that said, who doesn't like freebies?!

So, subscribe to the blog, share my blog with friends, and leave a comment below.  That will let me know you 1. Subscribed to my blog and 2. Shared the blog with your friends.  If you know a mom or dad wanting to find something that works, this could be it. So pass it along!! I will do a drawing and announce the winner Friday, Sept. 26th.  :)