I love a new year. I love new beginnings. New starts. I love it all! I get giddy about a new planner, new (old, unaccomplished) goals, refreshed goals and revisited dreams. You won't believe this but I am sitting in a hotel room...alone. ALONE. This is real life. I am in Denver waiting to pick up Jacob and Leah from an extended stay at Noni's, Memaw's, and Gigi's, enjoying all the grandparent spoiling. I drove 6 hours from home this evening, and I'll pick them up early in the morning, say a quick 'Hello, goodbye..." to my dad who is flying them here, then flying back to Atlanta. Thanks to a wonderful granddad who retired from Delta, we get to reap the benefits. Then I will make the drive back with two precious little kids who have been so well loved by family over the last few weeks. It is important for our littles to know their family, and we are so thankful they had the time to spend with everyone.
Ladies, mothers....I know it's almost impossible for you to slip away. You simply must. Even just for a quick coffee shop date, long drive, or a Target run. You must. It's so hard to have a complete thought some days, much less some intense time of reflection. So I had 6 hours in the car all by myself. I listened to music, worshipped loudly in my car, listened to podcasts, prayed, cried a little, and dreamed. Dreamed on God sized things. Things only He can do. I thought back on this last year. All that He has accomplished for HIS kingdom. I remembered all the little prayers I prayed that He answered. Some that He didn't, in the way I thought anyway. I thought back on how my husband has grown, how my kids have grown, how I have grown. So much blessing in one year. Not all of it was fun. Not all was easy.
God has been doing some tweaking of my heart for the last SEVERAL weeks....well months. You know the prayer you pray where you ask God to do something deep in your heart, and show you areas that you may not be truly ready to see, I prayed that. I have always had big dreams. Big dreams for ministry, and reaching women and young girls. I have had a heart for women's ministry for about 12 years now. Knowing that in some way God would use me to reach and encourage other women. I also knew that He was waiting on me. Waiting on me to GET out of the way!! He is still waiting, haha! Honeslty, and unfortunately, I can count on one hand the amount of goals I have reached and actually accomplished. They may be small goals, but goals that I set out to reach non the less. Something I am terrible at is discipline. Even to wake up at a certain time, have a routine, schedule, finish a book, little things that add up in the scheme of things. It sets a pattern of...well not reaching goals, not growing, going about life in survival mode.
I friend of mine has a motto for each new year. Lauren, I hope you don't mind me mentioning you :) I love that! Something you can remember that sets the tone for your year. This year, and every year, I hope to live intentionally. As a mom, where sleep is unpredictable, there are days that I wake up simply to look forward to bed time. Am I right?! What are the things in that day that I miss out on because I am so ready to be done with the next thing. I want to live with intention. Being in the moment. I want to have intentional relationships. I want to be intentional in growing, setting goals that mean something and accomplish something! I want to have an eternal mindset, and not miss simple opportunities to share the love of Jesus.
I have taken this sweet moment of quiet serenity to dream about what this year holds. We are having a growth spirt in the ministry in Pine Ridge. Entering a new season, at new levels in our relationships in the community, and stepping out in faith, everyday. We can NOT be effective in ministry, or simply in loving others if we are not dependent on Jesus. He is shaking and making things happen, and sometimes there are growing pains that come in a big time of growth. We are dying to self, refusing to remain in the same position. We are seeing our lack, our selfishness, our shortcomings, and having to daily give them over to someone greater. People, if He can use us, He can use you!! He is just asking for you to be available. We just said "Yes" to this amazing journey, and we will never be the same for it. This year, be intentional. Imagine what could happen if you say "I will go..." or " I will do this or that".
Better late than never...Cheers to 2015!! Bring it on.
