Grace - Based Parenting

Over the last several months I have joined the Audible community.  The last thing I am disciplined in is reading.  So I joined the wonderful world of audible reading!  I can be driving, cleaning, taking a shower and be diving into a good book.  It narrates the book to me, and I love getting to do other things while still "reading". Talk about multi tasking!!  If you haven't downloaded the app, check Audible out with a free trial.

Teaching my kids the importance of reading has kicked my tail, and I am striving to "lead by example".  To help me get more motivated to read/listen, I'll be doing a monthly giveaway of the book that I read for that month.  If I just feel really accomplished I may even tackle a few books a month, but whenever I finish a book that I feel is worth sharing, I will do a give away.

We are in the thick of parenting.  I mean the nitty-gritty, hand's dirty, worn out, time of parenting.  LOTS of character building, educating, loving, leading, mentoring, and we are learning as parents at every stage.  One thing Matt and I have discussed as of late, it how do we discipline with Grace.  How do we show that there are consequences, yet show them the perfect picture of the Gospel?   God teaches us grace at our weakest, most ugly moments.  He forgives without question, and it draws us closer to him.  We want to draw our children to us, not push them away.   We want to draw them to Jesus, not make them feel they can never live up to certain standards.  So where is the balance?  Because I am not OK with saying "Oh that's fine, try again next time." All the time.  They need to know there are consequences for bad decisions, and for sin.  God knew we couldn't be good parents on our own.  And sometimes I have to remind myself that I was never meant to.  Seriously, I am a very flawed human being.  And to be 'allowed" to parent is a gift in and of itself.  I want to take every opportunity to grow, especially in our parenting.  It is the most important job we have.

I have read a few fiction books, but mostly enjoy reading books that will encourage me in my reality, not take me out of reality in a made up novel.  Not in anyway knocking fiction, I just have to have a really good book to keep me intrigued.   The thing in "self-developement" books is that it allows you to evaluate where you are.  Leaves you with an opportunity to grow.   I need that push, so I like reading things that renew my mind, leave me feeling encouraged, or challenge me in my faith.  That's not to say there won't be some fiction reviews, and if you know a good one let me know!

Grace - Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel gives you practical ways to teach and show grace.  It points out parenting styles and the ways that it can harm your children spiritually, and emotionally.  The good and the bad.  In this generation, we want our children to love others without judgement, and to show grace to others, but to also know biblical values and standards.  I desire for my children to run to Jesus when they fail, not run from Him. That's grace!  How will they know if we don't teach them?  Grace should be our anthem.  If you find yourself in the same stage of life we are in, read this book.  Read it, talk it out, pray about how God would have you implement this in your home, and be encouraged! We have the best teacher, and we need to seek Him in every area.  Be sure to check out Family Matters website for more great resources.

With that said, who doesn't like freebies?!

So, subscribe to the blog, share my blog with friends, and leave a comment below.  That will let me know you 1. Subscribed to my blog and 2. Shared the blog with your friends.  If you know a mom or dad wanting to find something that works, this could be it. So pass it along!! I will do a drawing and announce the winner Friday, Sept. 26th.  :)

In a flash...

And just like that summer is done and the new season begins.  We had a wonderful summer!  We had the privilege of serving beside some of the most genuine people you will ever meet.  We also got to spend the summer with our full time staff with TeamEffort Missions, and we were very thankful to have Matt's sister, Laura, to help with Noah and everything that comes with getting camp going.  Our life looks very different in the summer.  We throw routine out the window and camp schedule takes over.  It is pretty amazing to meet so many people, from so many places, with the same heart to serve.  It paints a beautiful picture of the gospel when so many people come from all over to share the same love.

Now we are getting into the wonderful, LONG season of WINTER...bleh.  Matt is so excited and I'm well, more excited than I was last year.  So. Much. Snow.  I love the relationships we are able to build in the winter.  There is a lot of one on one discipleship, and practical ministry like providing firewood, cooking dinner for other families, bible studies, and mentorships.

We started school on the 20th and so far so good.  Even though it is just about a week in.  Thankfully we are able to join Classical Conversations, which is a homeschool community that meets once a week.  We are stoked to meet new moms, and new friends for Jacob and Leah.  It will be a little bit of a haul, but we are getting errands done while we are in town as well.  It will be a great opportunity, and it will be so nice to have some help with teaching.  We looking forward to connecting to a community we can relate to, and partner with other moms and little ones.  One thing that the Lord is teaching me is that He hears me.  He hears the little details of what my heart longs for.  I have prayed for community.  A community of other moms, in the same boat, in the same season, with the same values.  He heard me.  He gave us peace about joining Classical Conversations, and lead someone to pay for everything we needed for the tuition and our curriculum for the school year.  The creator of the universe heard my small request, and gave us the desires of my heart.

It may seem like a small thing, but spend the winter in a cute little cabin with LOTS of snow and you will appreciate a little community! haha!  We have wonderful friends here at our church, they are family, but it's so great to have other moms to lean on during this homeschool journey that takes me oh-so-out of my comfort zone.  I know some of you can relate!

We have a Women's weekend coming up next week and we are expecting great things! Our first ever Women's Event of this size.  We are having a group of ladies come from Texas to help.  I know it will be a great time of growing spiritually and in our relationships.  It's easy to get disconnected from one another when life gets busy.  We hope to build strong relationships so that we can support each other, and build each other up when life gets tough!  I will be sure to update you after the weekend!

Please be in prayer over our Women.  Pray over our ladies coming to help that we would be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and our agenda would be out of the way.  Pray that they would be open to hearing the Word.  Pray that we would be able to minister to all who come and meet their needs.  Pray for God to have his way!

Thank you all for reading this scattered, infrequently updated blog :)

Gently leads....

This is a crazy season for us, but SO welcomed after the long winter we had.  This is a time where our schedule is overwhelming at times, but at the end of the day we are filled and refreshed.  We get the wonderful opportunity to spend time with believers from all over the country that share our same hope for the Lakota people and it reminds us of the joy it is to serve the native people.  One thing that has been strong on my heart is Isaiah 40:11 "He tends His flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in arms and carries them close to His heart.  He gently leads those with young."

 

Gently.

 

Gently.

 

The word keeps ringing through my heart. I know this verse well, but lately this verse has dwelt in my heart like no other time.  Not because my days are miserable, or agonizing by any means. Simply because it is becoming an anthem for me.  When I picture this, I don't picture God, as our shepherd, hurrying us along.  Trying to make it to a deadline, or out the door, not rushing or pushing us.  I picture Him gently placing His hand in ours and in the most "gentle" way walking with us.  He is a God who is justice. A God of mercy.  A God of patience.  And all of His characteristics are so perfectly balanced,  not one is greater than the other. Man... let me just say.  He has been gently leading me in the sweetest of ways.  He gently speaks to my heart.  He gently reminds me to be patient with my children or to ask them for forgiveness in the times that I mess up (humbling).  He gently whispers in the moments that are loud and chaotic. He gently gives me peace when I am searching for it.  He gently stokes my spirit to be more intimate with him.  He gently calls to me when my days are so busy I don't take the time for him.  He gently shows me how to love His people.  And He gently draws me closer to him. 

 

You know those moments, when regardless of how your day went, or how long your night was, when you are holding your baby and you just burst with love and joy in the gift of children?  God. Does. That!  We bring joy to him.  He looks on us with JOY.  Painful Joy. Know what I mean? Had those times when you feel your heart could explode your so happy?  Not just for mothers or parents, but anyone who has experienced joy.  Good Joy. Soulful Joy!  He feels that towards you. 

 

God knows my heart. He knows ME.  He knows my struggles, my sins, my heart cry.  And He comes to me *gently* and restores me. Gah.  My heart is so overwhelmed. He is so good. So sweet. So tender. Mothers, He KNOWS us. He knows the struggles, the frustrations, the long days, and long nights.  But guess what else He knows...the joys, the victories, the rewards.  He knows the task that sets before us to pour into our children's lives with Godly truth and foundation. He knows we need Him. He knows we can't do it alone. And He gently leads us. 

 

My prayer for you is that this beautiful word would become real in your life.  That we would let Him lead us.  If you haven't heard the word "gentle" enough in this post, let him gently restore your life.  He is so Worthy, capable, and willing to do so.  He created our "job", let Him give us wisdom in doing it well. 

 

Cante Wotecela

 -Lakota for "gentle heart"

 

Bathroom Addition - Part Uno

     I really do love blogging...and the whole reason for starting the blog was to show you a glimpse into our life here in Pine Ridge. So I am doing my  best to be more consistent.  This post makes me so very happy!  If you are one of the few HUNDRED people who have passed through our home here at Chanku Waste Ranch, you will be so excited to visit, and stay with us again this summer!

 

 Before we welcomed Noah, Matt's family came up to help do a room addition for the big kids, Jacob and Leah!  Until them they had a small like 10 x 10 room (maybe), room enough for a dresser and bunk beds and not much else. We are so in love with our little Log Cabin and I have been so thankful to have a very attractive handy man living here with me! ha! Then, when the kids and I were in Georgia over Christmas, Matt did a remodel to our little kitchenette by adding a hanging pot rack, dishwasher, new cabinets, and more counter space.  I wish I had more before and afters to show you but that was an after thought. But again, those of you who have been here and stayed with us will appreciate this all the more. Before the kitchen redo. I had NO upper cabinets, hardly any counter space, no dishwasher, a single bay sink, and no storage space. It started to become a pain with our growing family. So once again my sweet man did his thing!

 

   So...low and behold...He truly is my favorite person...is doing a remodel on our closet/pantry/bathroom area.  What does this mean? A PANTRY....gasp! Let me say that again.... A PANTRY!  A full bathroom!!!  Yes, we have only one full bathroom and it's in our bedroom which is inconvenient with having people stay with us in the summer, and just plain taking a number is not ideal. So we are adding a second full bathroom! I can hear the angels singing!  And adding a small closet for Matt's clothes as well. Log cabins don't have closets?! Its true which has made it a little more interesting. My clothes are in the kids' closet. Yep, 5 people using ONE closet. Yikes!

 

So I will be posting pictures in sections. I didn't grab a raw before picture but if you can imagine, we had a closet, a large shelf unit as the pantry, a deep freezer, misc kitchen storage, a half bath, AND laundry room in one small area. So...I'm a little giddy with excitement!

 

 

This is after we moved a lot out. To the right is our half bath with our ONLY built in shelves for storage.

 

This is a tiny glimpse of our little storage area and half bath. Soon to be PANTRY!  I think if I make it really BIG everytime I say it, you'll get the point that I'm excited.

 

 

Part 2 coming tomorrow! Mr. Handyman is working on if after work so we can have it done before the big kids get back from their family visit from Georgia.

 

<3

Noah Luke - 6 Months!

     I can hardly believe it has been 6 months...I haven't been blogging much and want to get better. I am not going to remember all the details of this journey and this is a way I can look back on it! Noah's story is special. But what little new life isn't!  When we found out we were having our first little baby boy, Matt and I had 2 names picked out, Jacob Matthew and Noah Luke. Obviously, our Jacob Matthew is 7 years old. When we were expecting Leah, we waiting to find out the sex of the baby. TORTURE! But in the end, I'm so glad we did. What an amazing thing to be laboring and waiting for the "It's A...."! So we had once again Noah Luke or Leah Hope.

 

     Matt and I had talked about another little one. I knew one more would be perfect, and I didn't want them too far apart. (Jacob is 7, and Leah is 4) So we had a nice gap. We talked about it and BAM! haha! Matt and our friend Jake had been in the North West Territory and the last day we had phone communication, I found out I was pregnant. I didn't want to spill it over the phone! So over that few weeks he was gone, I held it in...Kinda :) We had a girls trip in TN with a few of my Best Friends and could not hold that in! So, the kids and I made shirts for the big announcement once we picked them up at the airport. Jacob had a '#1", Leah had a "#2" and I had one on that said "Count our blessings...#3"! He said "ALL READY?!!" He is a Hadden after all!

 

    I was pretty sick, so I was leaning towards a girl. I gave Matt free range on the names. I wanted him to name this baby all on his Own. Of course, he still loved Noah Luke but had picked out Karis Joy, if we had another girl. Still love that name! Karis, means Grace. And we were in a HUGE life change and so dependent on God's Grace, it was beautiful name. A few weeks after Leah was born, I kept having dreams of a little boy, Noah.  I knew that one day we would have another boy but wouldn't dare admit it after just having a baby. I couldn't even think of that! Lol.  But of course, looking back, God was giving me a glimpse. All this time, when we were expecting our first son, we had Noah in mind. If only a name, but I know that God knew, and there was a reason that name was always on our minds.

 

     I know that God is blessing his children all the time. But blessing you with children, with life is such an amazing thing. When you understand the importance of shaping a human being, what a high, and often overwhelming calling.  I can't tell you how many times throughout the day I say to myself that " I love this life. I love my children..." Even in the trying times, In the exhausting times, in the times that test your character and self- control, let's be honest... you can't help but be thankful. I love being a mother, a parent, even when it hurts or is hard. It's so worth it. And I already get a little emotional when I think of the day they will be on their own. I know, I know. Matt and I have often joked that we will be empty nesters at like 45, since we got started so young, which will be amazing. After all, your "goal" is to raise young men and women, with Godly character, to be successful in life according to God's standards and not the worlds, to have healthy relationships, to Love Jesus and experience Him for themselves not because we "say so", but seriously, after being needed and depended on for 20+ years...there is surely going to be some adjusting. You must be laughing...all this spill because Noah is 6 months! hahaha! But it causes you to do some reflecting for sure. I have never been so emotional as I am as a mother. When it comes to my children and Christ, I'm just an emotional puddle. Maybe not openly, but leave me to my lonesome and it get's me every time!

 

  All that to say, I am in love with Jacob, Leah, and Noah. I am thrilled to the core to be their mother, and thankful to my husband who is a wonderful partner in this journey and MORE IN LOVE with him than ever. For those of you with children, you know this feeling. For those of you yet to have children, if I hear any of you are expecting soon...don't be afraid if I cry! Because I will rejoice with you to tears for sure. It is the most amazing thing in life outside of our relationship with Jesus and our husbands.

 

Gah....I'm not crying...or am I? :)

 

 

In celebration of this wonderful little Man who was made and known to God before he was formed in the womb, Happy 6 Months babe!

 

 Brother and sister lovin!

 Talkin....and drollin!

 

 

 

See that sweet new tooth??!! Show off :)

 

<3

 

March Update!

Hello Friends,

It is always a blessing when I sit down to write the newsletter and think of how many of you have lifted us up in prayer in the last month. The ministry God has us here for would not be as strong if it were not for you supporting us in so many ways and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I found out over the weekend that I have not been getting in emails to me if the sender was replying to an email I had sent. Another one of the little annoyances from the hacker that messed with my email back in January. I have the problem fixed now that I am aware of it, but if you have tried to reply to an email I sent I have not received any of them so please resend them, just know that I have not intentionally ignored you.

In Philippians 4, Paul talks about being in many different seasons knowing what it is like to be full or to be hungry, being down and discouraged or abounding in joy, out of this comes some well known verses, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" and " My God shall supply all my need according to His riches and glory." Paul was busy with His calling

.

 

W

hen you are busy with God's calling and purpose there is not any place you would rather be. There might be places that sound easier or more desired from our own selfish hearts but in reality I know that I am exalting Jesus right here where He wants me to exalt Him and that is where my joy comes from, that is when my joy is fulfilled as John the baptist puts it in John 3. With that I know that I can do all things and bear all things through Christ who gives me strength and grace no matter the season of life I am in. Because it is out of a heart of being right where God wants me to be, planted next to the source of all good things I can know without a doubt that God will supply all of my needs according to His wealth and His glory.

I have been looking at finances in scripture and this is really the first point - knowing and believing that God is the source. I challenge you to think about where you are, are you close to the source?

Things here have been busy, Amanda has been teaching Jacob and Leah. Jacob is really coming along really well in his reading and Leah is doing well with her letters and numbers. Noah is full of giggles and is learning how to do his best at scooting and kicking. 

Rob and Michelle will be on the road for 6 weeks in NY and VA speaking at some churches out there continuing raising their support as well as visiting family. Mike will be out of town on the rd in KY for most of March so that will leave a lot of the church duties and services to us. Pray for their traveling safety. 

Our wood burning stove has been such a blessing, I don't know what we would do without it through this cold winter, but one thing we have learned is that when it is really windy (Which if you have been here you already know, is pretty frequently) we have had a hard time getting the smoke to draw up and when it gets real bad it will fill our entire little house with smoke, so if you have received a letter or something from us and it smells like a campfire, that is why. It gets really frustrating when you think you get all the smoke smell out and it happens again the next day. I have tried all kinds of things people have recommended to me with nothing working, until a couple of weeks ago I tried something different that a local guy told me about and it seems to be working pretty well right now so we will see how that does. We will have to wait for one of those nights that you feel like the roof is going to come off before we will know for sure.  

I ask you to pray for our church family here, life is hard on a reservation, it is even harder when you are surrounded by sin and there is warfare going on around you in your homes and at your schools constantly. There are a lot of hurting people around us, pray for grace to keep our eyes on Jesus.

If the Lord puts on your heart and you would like to know how you can help with some of our church families and some specific needs that are present in their homes (for example… we have a single mom who has not had running water in her home since the end of last summer) please feel free to ask, there are plenty of other needs to be shared.

Our food pantry has been really starting to take off, we have a lot more to grow and learn in that area but we are going to trust the Lord in how we operate and give according to His store house through His leading.

We had a family who lost their home and everything they own in a fire last week, praise the Lord we were able to bless them with a whole pickup load of blankets school supplies food and baby stuff. They have 6 young children please keep them in your prayers as the Lord is working in their lives through this devastation.

 

Just to keep you in the loop - if you, your sunday school class or church would like to help keep our pantry stocked with canned goods clothes and baby supplies, please let me know  and I might be able to further guide you in some ways to do that.

There is always needs in front of us as we expand our horizons.

As always your gifts and prayers are a beautiful aroma and a sweet smelling sacrifice to me and to the Lord. I thank you for all you do for us. May Jesus ever be exalted among people groups in SD, the USA, North America and all over the world. Lets continue to work at seeing Jesus come back full of majesty.

Learning to serve the Lord in all we do, 

Matt, Amanda, Jacob, Leah and Noah

Things to pray for on our behalf - 

Our serving families - Haddens, Brennans, McIntoshs, Tomkinsons,  Mauws, Martyns.

Sharps Corner Church

All the functions of camp as we are starting to get ready

Our teens here

Pantry to continue to flourish and be stocked

Continued support for the church and ministry here

That Jesus would be exalted in our home

February Update!!

Hello Friends,

It is only February and it has already started at being a very full year for us, there has not been any slowing down. We are hoping to get in a little routine around our house here before summer is here and we won't have time to think.

Amanda has been very busy at the house keeping up with Noah who is starting to squirm all over the place and jabber and laugh about everything while teaching Jacob and Leah at home. If any of you are not aware she (Amanda) is my rock. She keeps us all in line, challenging me spiritually taking care of everything in our home, she is looked up to by so many people, she loves Jesus.  (and is really pretty doing it.) I am very thankful for her and don't sing her praises near enough. The role she has taken on in this journey we are on is so very important and a necessity to do what God has put in our hearts. Moms/Wives - don't ever think your calling is not as great as whatever your husband is doing.

We had our first teen weekend at the camp the first weekend in January. I thought it went great. We had 21 through the weekend. The theme was Restoration - How God restores us right where we are in whatever condition we are in. He makes all things new. I have seen the teens grow a lot over the last year. We have been having issues with so many of the younger ones wanting to come and be a part of teen night, as much as I would love to have all of them it is not right for the older ones and we don't have the resources to reach them right yet on this particular night. As of late we have been having over 20 teens each week. I believe God is raising up a new generation of young people here who want more in life than just what has been handed to them. It is really hard to get out of a place in life where all you have been handed in life is abuse and told that there is nothing here for you, so many of them want to check out and are crying out for help and love by cutting themselves or medicating themselves with a drug to get through the day. I see this in very early ages of 10 years old and some even younger. I say this to say - Pray for the young people on Pine Ridge, Pray for Amanda and I to have wisdom in pouring into them with our words and actions. Satan has a stronghold in our young people here and it is time we take it back.

I just got back from the Northwest Territory, Canada a few days ago. We had a great trip. We had worship meetings in the evenings and did some construction projects during the days. On Sunday we baptized 7 people and just really saw the Lord moving in so many hearts there. We were in the town of Rae which is home to some of the Dog Rib tribe. We were working with a pastor Missionary there who has been there for 20 years. It is so encouraging to see what God can do when we are faithful to what He calls to. There is a great group of people there who love God and have a great sense of community and fellowship along with a burden to see more of their people come to know Jesus. You might know this already but I want to share with you something I have learned in my travels over the years - Jesus changes people, any culture, any place, any economy Jesus makes all things new and gives purpose and reason to life. He is the giver of and the very definition of life. I am grateful for pastors and missionaries who are faithful to preach the gospel even when there is no fame or glory for themselves but rather all for Jesus. It is easy to want and desire for God to elevate us and have a big church with all the trimmings in life, but the reality is God wants us where He will be most glorified, how much do we want and desire for God to be glorified? God put me wherever will bring you the most glory. John the Baptist got it when he told His followers that his joy is full when Jesus is increased. Is Jesus increasing in and around your life?

This coming weekend I will be teaching on finances at our church. I don't know that I am the best person to be teaching on this as I have always had the idea that if you have it you need to spend it. However I can share a lot of my failures as illustrations as well as share how faithful God has been to me. We either believe that God is  trustworthy and provides our needs as He said or we don't. Most of the time our actions show we don't trust the Lord. I am grateful that God is patient with me as he constantly teaches me this as He provides in ways I could have never dreamed and it is always when it is needed. As our vision grows our ministry continues to grow, with that so does our need. God has met every one of our needs and I have no doubt that he will continue to do so. My dad has always said "Whatever God orders, He pays for" - so true.

Thank you for everything that you guys do for us, we are surrounded by wonderful people that loves us and pray for us. I want you to know that it does not go unnoticed and we are so very grateful.

Learning to serve the Lord in all we do,

Matt, Amanda, Jacob, Leah and Noah Hadden

PS.

If you do not want to receive this newsletter any more or would like to add a different email please let me know, I am working on this area of ministry for us and it is not easy for me. I am not to good at writing and definitely not good at the real technical stuff. Hopefully by next month I will be changing the way this is sent and will have the website functional to make it easier to check out pictures and the way you can give toward certain projects and such.